No Regrets

A topic that often comes up when we study human development is that when middle aged and older adults are asked about any regrets they might have, the most consistent finding is that they regret the things they DID NOT DO. Even if they failed miserably in a business venture, lost in love, never passed the bar, didn't win the gold medal, or didn't write a best seller, at least THEY TRIED. They didn't stand on the sidelines wishing and hoping their lives were better or richer somehow. They took risks and packed in all the living they could.

Today in one of my general psychology classes, we listened to an NPR segment from "This I Believe" in which the woman was talking about living her life so that she'd have no regrets. She said that at each moment we are all dying; its also true that at each moment we are all living. Which do you want to do more of? She chose to live, and although she had been diagnosed with cancer, she stated that she still planned to savor each moment of the rest of her life.

Is there something you'd really like to try but are afraid to? In other words, what would you do if fear were not a factor? What is something you can do to LIVE the rest of your life so that you'll have no regrets?

Meth Labs and Children

One of the topics we’re currently studying in my Human Growth and Development online courses is child abuse, and while the text reports that it can occur in any SES, it’s more prevalent in settings involving stress, poverty, single parenthood, and parental conflict. While many think of abuse as being primarily physical, we’ve learned that there’s also psychological maltreatment in which a child might be neglected, belittled, frightened, exploited, or humiliated. In this type of abuse/neglect, caregivers (I use that term loosely) harm a child’s behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or physical functioning, and the effects can be long lasting.

The State newspaper is running a series on meth labs in SC, and alarmingly, I’ve learned that there have been hundreds of children involved. Exactly how many we don’t know since no one has counted. Here’s what we do know: When children are found, they are removed from the scene immediately, stripped of their clothing, hosed off, and examined and treated for exposure to toxic chemicals. Leaving toys and other belongings behind, they’re placed in emergency custody and are not returned to a parent if that person is connected to meth lab activity.

According to The State, no other drug, including heroin, cocaine, and crack, exposes a child to the same level of poisons. DSS assistant director Sue O’Toole is quoted as saying that the “chemicals they breathe in have restructured the synapses in their brains.” Since their lungs are larger compared to the rest of their bodies, children take in more air, faster…thus putting them at greater risk.

What kind of parent exposes a child to this toxic drug? Would the person have a profile similar to that of other abusers? Could it be possible that the parents might be ignorant about the effects of meth and the chemicals used to make it? What might be some long term effects of meth exposure on children?

Mental Jogging

All introductory courses cover the brain and its miraculous workings during the first week or so of class, and one of the things that’s always included in the discussions is the nervous system. Just how do messages get conveyed to and from the brain? What about synapses within the brain itself? How can we keep those synapses in good working order?

I came across some “neurobic” exercises proposed by Lawrence Katz, Duke University neurobiologist, and Manning Rubin in The Owner’s Manual to the Brain (love that book!). Each exercise is designed to form new associations among previously unassociated parts of the brain and bring new resources to a person’s consciousness. This “mental jogging” results in the formation of new synapses and the rejuvenation of already established synapses. I’m all for that. What about you? Which of the following seems like a “doable” exercise in your life? Can you think of other suggestions?

Make different smells available from morning to night.
Occasionally use your unaccustomed hand to brush your teeth.
Switch what you normallly wear (pins, wristwatch, pocket contents, hair part, etc.) on the left side to the right side and vice versa.
Take a different route to a frequent destination, such as work.
Try picking out the right coins (and other objects) without looking.
Turn things literally upside down, such as a picture in your office.
Chat with people whom you (and others) tend to overlook (e.g., store clerks).
If you’re not an artist, try painting or drawing a picture. If you are an artist, try doing it with your feet.
Try searching for food in the wild.
If you exercise indoors, try switching occasionally to outdoors and vice versa.
Master some new piece of technology from time to time. This could range from something as simple as a new wine bottle opener to a digital camera.
Try eating and preparing ethnic foods you’ve never experienced.
Acquire a new hobby.

How NOT to Spoil Kids

When I logged onto the computer this morning, I spotted this short piece that outlines five tips to improve parenting skills and decrease the chances of having a spoiled child. Read it and let me know what you think. Briefly, the tips are to say no, set limits, prepare for a fight, avoid tempation, and make them work. When you click the link and read the article, you'll find an elaboration on each of the guidelines.

Do you agree or disagree? Are there some tips that you like more than others?

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20777582/?GT1=10357

Do We All Hit the Top at Some Point?

I found this to be a curious article/discussion about the glass ceiling effect that sometimes is discussed in our Human Growth & Development classes. I was particularly taken by the few men that have gone into nursing as a career.....but it does appear these numbers are increasing.

http://encarta.msn-ppe.com:443/encnet/Departments/CareerTraining/?article=ReverseGlassCeiling1

Do you think a man may experience a "reverse" glass ceiling in a profession that has traditionally been dominated by women?

Your Suggestions?

Although the brain continues to develop throughout life, it is especially plastic during childhood. Do you have any suggestions that might help parents in facilitating cognitive development and language acquisition in children? In other words, what would you recommend as ways to aid in brain growth and development? For instance, does Sesame Street help? What about reading to children? Does talking to them increase language skills and vocabulary?

Something New

I had a great time reading the journals submitted by my General Psychology students...some great writing. What really struck me is that psychology is still new to everyone and that I've been putting topics on the blog that you haven't covered or even thought about yet. Consequently, today I decided to try something different. What I'd like for you to do is to write about something you learned in class or in your text that you didn't know before. You might even go the "second mile" and tell of a situation that you observed that relates to psychology.

Development of Thinking During College

This morning I came across an interesting reading about the development of thinking during college, and I thought the information was worth sharing with inquiring minds. William Perry, Jr. of Harvard has identified three different development phases that typically occur during one’s college career. This information was lifted directly from page 571 of Pierce Howard’s The Owner’s Manual to the Brain, 3rd edition.

*Dualism. The entering student tends to see the world in terms of right and wrong , good and bad, and searches throughout freshman and sophomore courses to find the right answers.
*Relativism. The maturing student tends to eschew (great word) the notion of a single right approach or answer, instead embracing a pluralism in which multiple points of view and value systems may be simultaneously good or right.
*Commitment. The mature student, while still embracing relativism and pluralism, affirms a personal set of values. This commitment is integrative and accepting of other systems, unlike earlier commitments that were unexamined and based on unquestioned authority.

What I’d like for you to do is to apply these findings to you and your current level of thinking. Do you accept that something is true or right based on what your teacher, textbook, or some other authority says? Have you found yourself doubting some of your earlier beliefs? Do you find that you are occasionally “at odds” with others with whom you associate because of differing beliefs?

Please respond to this post with an experience or observation of your own. After I hear from a couple of you, then I’ll share some of my development thinking milestones that might not have happened had it not been for college.

Power of Thoughts

All this talk about cognitive psychology and the power of thoughts has reminded me of a great book by Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements. My son gave it to me for my birthday a few years ago, and when I finally got around to reading it, I was amazed at the power of the agreements. They're so simple and yet so profound.

Back to the subject at hand...thoughts. The first agreement is "Be impeccable with your word." Dr. Ruiz reminds the reader that impeccable comes from the Latin word pecatus which means sin, and adding the im to peccable means without sin. He then goes on to say that everything we feel or believe or say that goes against ourselves is a sin. Bottom line: Don't engage in negative self-talk. Anytime you tell yourself "I can't," or "I'm a loser," or "I'm stupid, ugly, mean," then you're sinning against yourself.

To quote him from page 45: "Tell yourself how wonderful you are, how great you are. Tell yourself how much you love yourself. Use the word to break all those teeny, tiny agreements that make you suffer....Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, to huge success and abundance; it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love.... you can transcend the dream of fear and live a different life."

It's a great little book, one that you can read in a couple of hours but that will affect your thinking forever (or at least for a long time). For now, react to the gist of the the "agreement." Do you think that thoughts are so powerful that by changing them, we can transcend the dream of fear and live a different life? Are the thoughts we have about ourselves really that important?

Change your Thoughts

This past week we discussed several perspectives of psychological thought in the introductory psychology classes, and a couple of students wanted to know my favorite. “I like them all,” I replied to their inquiries. I truly do, for they all offer insight into the mysteries of human thought and behavior. However, this afternoon I must admit that I’m leaning towards the cognitive school of thought, the one that concentrates on memory, perception, dreams, daydreams, problem solving, and thoughts.

One reason I like this perspective is that we always have our minds with us. Granted, sometimes we don’t think as clearly as we need to. Sometimes our emotions, state of fatigue, or just plain fuzzy thinking can really do a number on us. Still, I agree with Shakespeare who said, “There’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” If we can control our thoughts, we can better control our worlds.

I’ve been reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I think one reason I’m enjoying it so much is because of funny and insightful way that she describes the psychological and spiritual nature of her opinions and experiences. While in India (her travels take her to Italy, India, and Indonesia), she realizes how ultra important it is for a person to choose and control her own thoughts. In fact, she states that if a person who can’t control her thoughts is “in deep trouble forever.”

When Gilbert began saying, “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore,” her mind latched onto the word “harbor,” and she began thinking about how it could be both a noun and a verb. While we think of a harbor as a safe place, a haven, and a refuge, sometimes we might let ships into our harbors (minds) that are negative and hurtful. Ships, like thoughts, can bring disease, death, despair, plague, doubt, and so forth. Who needs that? Her intention is to stop the entry of any negative thoughts into the harbor of her mind. In addition, she plans to eliminate any thoughts she might be currently harboring that have the potential for harm.

I’m bringing up Shakespeare and Gilbert simply because they’ve written about the cognitive perspective as applied to their lives. Do you agree with their beliefs about the power of thoughts in affecting our behavior and sense of well-being (or its opposite)? Have you ever deliberately changed your thoughts and thereby changed your world…or at least the way it looked to you?