An Overheard Conversation

Monday afternoon found three of us chatting about our various experiences and observations of the past few days. One of the English instructors told of a weird and interesting situation that had occurred while she was visiting an ENT the week before. Knowing that she’d have to wait to see the doctor, the teacher came armed with a book, When Things Fall Apart. Interestingly, the chapter she was reading dealt with letting go of the importance of self-image. As she pondered this wise philosophy, she became aware of a conversation between two other patients, one of whom was ultra-concerned about her underarm hair. Even after shaving, there was still faint evidence of hair! Horrors! Something akin to the so-called five o’clock shadow, I suppose. To heighten the “weirdness” of the situation, the other woman began talking about Botox treatments. The young instructor was struck by the stark contrast between the Buddhist philosophy of self-image and that of the two patients, both of whom appeared to be focused on external appearance. Ordinarily, she might have found this conversation amusing; today she found it especially interesting because of what she was reading.

In psychology, a positive self-image is linked to other important “self” words like self-concept, self-esteem, and self-efficacy. In a recent class discussion, the students agreed that while many people define themselves in terms of their possessions, their careers, their money, and their appearance, those things can be very fleeting. People lose fortunes everyday. Jobs are lost through downsizing, mergers, and plain old incompetence. Looks…well, looks fade. What happens then? We agreed that our internal value system and emotional makeup were better sources of a positive self-image and self-esteem than tangible things or outward appearances.