When I logged onto the computer this morning, I spotted this short piece that outlines five tips to improve parenting skills and decrease the chances of having a spoiled child. Read it and let me know what you think. Briefly, the tips are to say no, set limits, prepare for a fight, avoid tempation, and make them work. When you click the link and read the article, you'll find an elaboration on each of the guidelines.
Do you agree or disagree? Are there some tips that you like more than others?
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20777582/?GT1=10357
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9 comments:
This was a very short article but it said a lot!! I agree with the steps involved in it. Sometimes I think parents spoil their children without even realizing it. For example, your child is not listening or won't be quiet so you give the child something and the child stops. Eventually the child may use this to his or her advantage by acting up just to recieve something (Is this an example of operant conditioning?). I think that one of the best ways to give your child attention and express your love towards them is by spending quality time together.
I agree with this article, I am not a parent however I've observed how others raise their children and how differently it is from when I was a child. My family believe the scripture in the Bible; Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his son but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." When I watch a spoil child in action I think that either the parent do not have time for their child so they just give in to what ever the child want which is totally not the correct way to raise children. If the parent does not discipline the child someone else will. Parents need to gain control over their spoil children and this is a wonderful way to start
Great comments. And yes, Kimberly, it's operant conditioning, and in this case it seems that both the parent and the children are having their responses strengthened. I also agree that expressing love and spending quality time with a child might reduce the time they spend "acting out."
Meshanda, good points. If a parent really cares for a child, he or she will take the time to discipline the child appropriately. I say appropriately because what type of discipline depends on so many factors such as the child's personality, the nature of the "crime," the cognitive level of the child, the child's motivation, etc. We'll be discussing this somewhat complicated topic next week.
Great tips here. As for the first one-Child Psychologist John Rosemond always says-"All kids need a healthy dose of the vitamin N." Which, of course, is the word NO. There seems to be a deficiency of this particular vitamin in our society, which indeed sets one up for a tough future. As for expect a fight-yes, true also. It is not easy to stick to your guns. It basically boils down to who has the most willpower and endurance to consistantly discipline. But I also believe it's important to "choose your battles" , especially as kids get older. Some things are non-negotiable, but not everything. One other thing I've read from Rosemond is that you should expect kids to obey. This is powerful, but rarely practiced. How many parents tell their kids to do something and really expect that they will? And is there a consequence if they don't?
I've missed your comments, and I appreciate your sharing Rosemond's thoughts. He's absolutely right, of course. I often read his column, and although sometimes he makes me a little perturbed and annoyed, his principles are sound. I've often wondered how smoothly things really flow in his household.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE TIPS IN THE ARTICLE. AS A PARENT, YOU LEARN WHEN TO SAY NO AND WHEN TO SAY YES. LIMITS ARE IN MY OPINION, A FORM OF BOUNDARIES THAT SERVE AS GROUNDRULES FOR MY CHILDREN. I AM ALWAYS TEACHING THEM THE VALUE OF HARD WORK AND HOW IT PAYS OFF IN THE END. AS FOR AVOIDING TEMPTATION, I TRY TO KEEP THAT IN MIND, BUT AT THE SAM TIME I AM ALWAYS READY FOR A FIGHT. MY KIDS KEEP ME ON MY TOES AND I LIKE THAT BECAUSE WE ARE ABLE TO LEARN FROM EACH OTHER'S MISTAKES AND GROW FROM ONE ANOTHER.
Sounds like you take your role as a mother seriously, and I'm glad to hear it. It's such a challenge to be a "good" parent. Not only do we need to follow the five tips mentioned in the article, but we also need to give them unconditional love AND treat each one as an individual.
I agree 100% with this article. No one wasnts a spoiled child and to prevent that, parents should just learn how to say no. I am not a parents yet but i do have four neices and nephews and it breaks my heart when i reject them but I know it's for the best. I hate to see their faces when i tell them no and some parents are afraid that their kids won't love them as much anymore but that's not true. As a young teen just leaveing my parents house. I've dealt with a lot of rejection and I was angry with them but I don't hate them for being good parents
Great points, Kesha. I sometimes wonder what happens to young people who've never heard NO when they get in the workplace.
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